I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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