Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize