My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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