This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
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By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
When are your genitals available?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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