He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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