just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize