We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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