Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think i peed on brittanys purse
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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