I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize