I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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