Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i believe in u and ur pee
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize