I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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