Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize