Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize