i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
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I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
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I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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