It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize