Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize