she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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