Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize