i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize