just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
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He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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