I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
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Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
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I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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