are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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