We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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