Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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