I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
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my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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