im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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