I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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