I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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