I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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