I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize