is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
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Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
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I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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