Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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