my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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