That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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