why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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