im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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