Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize