I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
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