glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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