Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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