wakey wakey hands off snakey
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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