I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
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