Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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