After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize