only if we run a train.
done.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
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the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
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Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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