I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
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i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
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No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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