Im at strip club and am horny
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize