i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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