we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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